Entertaining
by Mushroom Hair
Summary: At home with the Clarke Masood's
1. Chapter 1

"Hi honey, I'm home!"

The door slammed behind Christian and he swept a wriggling Syed into a bear hug, raining loud kisses onto his face, before picking him up and throwing him onto the sofa.

Winded, Syed lay prone, watching the retreating back as Christian disappeared into the kitchen and began to noisily search through the fridge.

"You're very jolly. Have you had a good day?" Syed called after him.

Returning to lean in the doorway, Christian downed a glass of orange juice in one go, and Syed found himself mesmerised by the sight of his Adam's apple rising and falling in his throat.

Belching loudly, Christian dragged his hand across his mouth and grinned.

"I needed that!"

"So it would seem, filthy git. So, what's happened to make you this unbearably cheerful?"

Christian lifted Syed's feet and sat beside him, placing them down across his lap.

"Bog all, my lovely. But there are daffodil's and crocuses in the gardens, buds on the trees, it isn't dark at half past three anymore, little birds are singing, boy pigeons are puffing themselves up and making beady eyes at the ladies, or other boys. Do you get gay birds, I wonder? I didn't get rained on, my clients are great and are all getting fit, fit, fit, thanks to my magnificent training, the sun shone, I wasn't freezing my bollocks off…Need I go on?"

"I think you just might have.. Ha ha! Stop it, no Christian, don't…"

Syed flailed around helplessly, desperately trying to free his feet from Christian's tickling fingers.

He stopped and ran his hand's along the back of Syed's legs, beneath the fabric of his jeans.

"Plus, I had a genius idea…"

"Oh no, I'm scared now. Does it involve discomfort for me? Or vast amounts of money? Or embarrassment and humiliation? Something criminal?"

Christian set Syed off into paroxysms of agonised giggles as he began to tickle behind his knees. Deftly avoiding the kicking legs, he showed mercy and stopped abruptly, jumping up and pulling his vest off over his head.

"I'll tell you over dinner. What have we got in?"

Smiling at the spectacle of Christian's naked chest, Syed tried to search through his, now mush filled brain, to remember.

"How am I supposed to think, when you're standing there like that?"

Christian flexed one pectoral muscle, and then the other and grinned with delight.

"Good point.."

"Big head. Not much, I don't think. An egg, half a jar of pasta sauce. There might be some Dorito's left…"

"Oh yum, the makings of a tasty meal. Didn't you go to the Minute Mart on your way home?"

Syed stuck out his tongue.

"Didn't you? I wouldn't want to deny you the chance of visiting your Shangri La now, would I? We'll have to be inventive, Dorito's oeuf bologna, or get a take away…"

Stepping out of his track suit bottoms, Christian folded them neatly over his arm.

"I'm starving, shall we go out?"

"Yeah, great! Where?"

"Fargo's? The Café? The Vic? Obviously not the Bhajee…"

Wincing, Christian wished he hadn't mentioned the name when he spotted the hardly perceptible shadow of sadness flit briefly across Syed's eyes.

"Obviously…" He muttered the word thoughtfully, his voice low. Quickly perking up, he continued;

"… We could be daring and go up the High Street? We could even get on a bus! Radical I know.."

"Won't we need a visa and an armed guard if we choose to leave the square? We'll have to make a run for it and climb over the perimeter fence! That sounds great though, I'm up for that. There's that Bistro place, or the bar does food, or the Walford Tandoori, or the Kebab shop, or KFC… Sod it, I'm so hungry, lets go to them all…"

"On a food crawl. I take it you might be putting some clothes on before we go out?"

Christian snapped at the elastic in the waistband of his pants and pulled them down with a flourish.

"I thought I could go like this."

"Nice! You might want to be careful not to drop any hot food down yourself, and don't order sausages, in case you get confused.."

Christian chuckled and went to put his clothes into the laundry basket, pausing to say;

"I'm going for a shower. I think you should have one too."

Syed sniffed at his own armpits.

"Cheeky bugger, I had one this morning!"

"No, really. I think you should. You're not very good at washing."

Half sitting up, supporting himself on his elbows, Syed looked sweetly from under his eyelashes and innocently asked;

"Am I not?"

"No, you're not vigorous enough. You need help with the serious hard scrubbing, really getting stuck in, wielding that Loofah.."

"So you think I need some assistance with it then? A few lessons? Someone to show me how to scrub really hard? Which positions to get in for maximum effect? The best angle to hold the shower head? How to grip it firmly?"

"I think that would be very advisable, bit of sponge control, get to those hard to reach places…"

"Can you recommend anyone? Someone to help me hit the spot?"

Christian held out his hand and beckoned Syed towards him.

"I might be just the man you're looking for. Come with me, my rates are very reasonable, I'll teach you extreme ablution…"

Syed happily padded across the room, shaking with laughter.

"Extreme ablution? Is that you're genius idea?"

"No, I'll tell you that later. This one's not bad though, if I say so myself.. As you can see, I'm very much looking forward to giving you your first lesson, . Hurry up you delicious thing, I'm about to burst…."


	2. Chapter 2

Syed felt Christian's breath on his cheek as he leant in to turn down the collar of his jacket, smoothing his hands across his shoulders and slowly down the length of his arms.

"There you go. Good enough to eat…."

The deep voice murmured against Syed's cheek and he closed his eyes, swaying slightly.

"I'm not sure I'm clean enough yet…."

"Really?" Christian raised his eyebrows in surprise and took a step back. "Well, in that case…." His stomach let out a loud rumbling growl and they both laughed.

Smiling, Syed gently touched the sharp stubble of Christian's cheek.

"Maybe later then. Have you got the keys?"

With a jangle, Christian produced them from the pocket of his leather jacket.

"Check. Have you got the money?"

"I'm packing a wad…"

"I know this much is true!…" Sang Christian, curling Syed's fingers around his own and propelling him towards the door.

"Come on gorgeous, lets hit the High Street…"

* * *

Pushing away his plate, Syed rubbed his stomach and puffed out his cheeks. The flame of the small pink candle between them guttered and danced, disturbed by a rush of air as a couple left the restaurant.

"Don't you want that?"

Christian gestured at the remains of Syed's spinach and ricotta pasta with his fork.

"Full. Finish it for me, gut bucket."

"Don't mind if I do. I love spinach" He took the plate from Syed and stuffed a forkful into his mouth.

"Popeye. We'll have to get you a sailor's hat."

Christian licked his lips.

"Mmm, this is fab, almost as nice as my beef. I've got a sailor's hat somewhere."

"Better than Dorito Surprise. I'm scared to ask, but why have you got a sailor's hat?"

Christian twisted the pasta around and paused to answer;

"I pinched it off a stripper," before shovelling another mouthful in.

"I knew I shouldn't have asked.."

"Why aren't you hungry, Sy? You been stuffing sweets all day?"

"I had a big lunch in the Vic. And Jodie gave me her cream eggs."

"Did she? That was nice of her. Didn't she want them?"

Running his nails down the side of the water carafe, Syed narrowed his eyes and looked a little abashed.

"I might have told her a tiny white lie…"

"Tsk, tsk Syed.. What did you say?"

"In my defence, it was about the eightieth inane question I'd had to put up with today, so when she asked if they were made of boiled eggs, I sort of said yes.."

"Ha Ha! You bad boy. You won't want any dessert then."

Syed tried to grab the menu as Christian whisked it away.

"Maybe not a whole one, I could eat a bit of yours…" He smiled persuasively and Christian watched the candlelight reflect into the gold of his eyes, almost crumbling his resolve, but not quite.

"Fuck off, you did that last time. Soon as it appeared on the table you whipped out a giant spoon and stuffed most of it in your face."

"You could feed me little bits.."

Christian felt the pressure of Syed's leg against his own under the table.

"Oh go on then, but if you wolf the whole lot, we'll have words. Death by chocolate?"

"Is there any other way? Apart from.."

"Apart from…" Christian laughed, feeling Syed wriggle against the foot he had placed on his groin.

* * *

Christian leaned across the table and wiped a piece of chocolate from Syed's lower lip, holding his finger up for him to lick.

"I fell for it again, didn't I?"

Syed smiled, sleepy and full.

"Gotcha. You didn't tell me your genius idea."

Taking a sip of wine, Christian noticed that Syed was drooping with tiredness, and tried to attract the attention of their waitress.

"Oh yes. Well I thought…" He took Syed's hand and traced a circle on the palm.

"…I suppose you can't go to Tamwar and Afia's engagement party." He studied his face with concern as the familiar tightness of tension, that always came at the mention of his family, appeared between his eyebrow's.

"Hardly. I know Tam wants me there, but I don't want to wreck their day, and how can you invite someone who's invisible?"

"They won't know you're there if you're invisible, you could waft about with ease. Go in disguise! Get a big stick on beard, no disguising those beautiful eyes though, unless you wear shades…" Christian realised with a sinking heart that Syed had become ominously silent.

"…Oh shit Sy, I'm so sorry. I'm being flippant and insensitive.."

Syed shrugged and shook his head.

"No, no don't worry. You never know, I might get to be there yet, and it is laughable in some ways, I suppose.."

"It isn't. I'm a twat. Couldn't you just go anyway? If Tam and Afia want you there? Sod your parents, I'd bowl in there bold as brass and to hell with them."

Syed grinned ruefully.

"Yes Christian, but I'm not you. Was that your genius idea? I storm in, or disguise myself as a pot plant or something, or peer through a window like a cat shut out in the rain? If it is, it's not so much genius as crap."

"Credit it me with some intelligence. I thought we could do something for them, our own celebration.."

"Aww, Christian, that's lovely! Take them for a meal maybe. We could bring them here!"

Emboldened by the lightening of Syed's mood, Christian ventured.

"I was thinking more along the lines of something at the flat. A party.."

"A party?"

"Yeah, nothing outrageous, not even fancy dress, unless you wanted.. No, I can tell not. A few friends.."

Syed looked at him sideways with growing alarm.

"Theirs or ours?"

"Both. I made a list today, I'll show you when we get home. Some people round for drinks…"

"Drinks.."

"Soft ones, juices, Coke, Ribena, Lilt, Fanta, Tizer….. You think it's a shit idea.."

"I like the idea, I'm touched by it. It's the execution of it that's petrifying me."

Syed picked up the bill that the waitress had brought over, and thoughtfully totted it up in his head, checking the total was correct. Pulling some notes from his pocket, he handed them over and told her to keep the change. He turned back to Christian, scrutinising him, taking in his expression, the mix of care, worry and hope.

"Oh go on then, if Tam and Afia are up for it. But when we get home I'm vetoing this list, we can't fit that many people in anyway.."

Christian stood up and got their coat's from the hooks by the door. Handing Syed's over, he began to babble excitedly.

"I've thought of that, we can wedge a lot of stuff into the spare room, push the sofa up against the wall….."

Syed groaned and rolled his eyes.

""What the hell have I let myself in for?"


	3. Chapter 3

"I bloody love this bed."

Syed crawled under the duvet and lay, arms outstretched, in the very centre.

Appearing from the bathroom, tooth brush hanging from the side of his mouth, Christian mumbled;

"Eh?"

"This bed, my bed, it's huge!"

"Your bed?" Christian flicked the brush, spattering small specks of toothpaste in Syed's direction, and lunged to grab the corner of the duvet.

"I'll take this and sleep on the sofa then.."

"No! no!" Syed, laughing, held on tight and wrestled it back over himself. "I might let you get in too, in a tiny little bit of it!"

"Yeah, 'cause I'm built to fit in small spaces…"

Christian went back into the bathroom and Syed lay happily gazing at the ceiling, listening to him turn taps on and off, the clink of a glass jar, the faint slapping sound of moisturiser being liberally applied.

Twitching back the cover, Syed patted beside him as Christian re-entered the room.

"Do join me, room for a large one."

He shifted over, and Christian, divesting himself of his dressing gown, climbed in, shifting down to lie with his head on Syed's chest.

"Where's this list you've made?" Syed asked, idly stroking the tips of his fingers through Christian's hair.

"You want it now? I've got comfortable.."

"Yes, I need to check it, and a pen. Go and get it for me."

"Bloody hell, you're bossy."

Groaning, Christian heaved himself reluctantly back out of bed. Shivering, and rubbing his arms against the draught from under the front door, he hurried to the table.

"What sort of pen? A highlighter?"

He held one up and waved it at Syed.

"And a great big thick, black, marker pen, to cross people off."

Christian sighed and opened a drawer, rummaging through old keys, takeaway menu's and discarded buttons until he found one.

"The amount of shit we've got in here.." He moaned, running to jump back into bed. He thrust two sheets of A4 paper and both pens at Syed and resumed his original position.

Syed scanned Christian's proposed guests and frowned.

"Christian, you've invited the whole of Walford.."

"No I haven't, only the crème de la crème."

"How big do you think this flat is? It's not a Tardis."

"Throbbing And Rigid Dick In Syed.." Christian snorted with filthy glee and rubbed his thumb across Syed's belly, down to his cock.

"You're disgusting, did you know?" Syed thwacked him firmly on the head with the guest list.

"Ow! Your Mother thinks so…I didn't invite her."

"Funny. Who the fuck is Geoff?"

"Works in the pawn shop."

"When have you ever needed to pawn anything?"

"I haven't. I played darts with him a couple of times in the Vic. Nice bloke, looks like a pug…"

Slowly and purposefully, Syed drew a thick black line across the name.

"Sorry Geoff, you have been deleted. Ah, and Roxy Mitchell, deleeeete."

Christian looked up in alarm.

"You can't delete Rox! If she finds out we had any sort of party and she wasn't invited, my life won't be worth living!"

"And if she comes and you two misbehave, your life still won't be worth living. Would she be bringing what's his name?"

"Michael Moon? Lord knows, they're on, they're off, and I'm not talking about her pants, or maybe I am.. I lose track and get bored. There's another Michael in there you probably won't want to scribble over.."

Syed pulled the top from the orange highlighter pen with his teeth and carefully drew a heart around the name, giggling as Christian scowled and poked him in the ribs.

"And you wouldn't either. Matt! We must invite him, and his friend. Oh bollocks, Tambo will want Darren there…"

"Darren's alright!"

"Yes, but with Darren comes Jodie, I don't fancy spending the whole evening wanting to rip my own ears off."

"She's sweet!"

"In small doses, she's delightful. You can deal with her, see how long it is before you want to push an apple in her mouth."

Christian turned to kiss Syed's navel, then watched him as, eyebrow's lowered with concentration, both pens gripped in one hand, he worked his way ruthlessly through the list.

"Tam will have some friends he wants to invite, I expect.." He suggested.

"Hmm, and Afia too. Though they might not think it's that exciting to hang out with his older brother, might think I'm an old fogey.."

Christian shook his head sadly.

"If they think you're old, what does that make me?"

"Geriatric. Anyway, I doubt that many of Tam's friends from Mosque would want to come here, a few maybe.."

"There's always the danger that I might corrupt them and give them gay, I suppose."

"You and me both. Zahida and Barry, tick! Sam and Steve? Are you sure? Steve maybe, but Sam will scare Tam to death!"

"Afia might like him though, she seems like a fun girl, up for a laugh."

"You'd have to be more than fun to cope with Sam. Demented, yes."

"Now you come to mention it, she does sometimes have a strange look in her eyes.."

"Oi! That's my future sister in law you're slagging off! Speaking of which, you've left Ian and Jane off."

"Hmm, don't really want the war of the roses going on, might put the happy couple off matrimony for good."

"Lauren… Ooh, Tanya and Greg.."

"Must we?"

"Tanya's great!"

"I suppose Greg's quite decorative. Shall we invite Jack too? They could serve drinks with little bow ties on!" Christian's eyes lit up at the prospect.

"Drinks with little bow ties on? Oh you mean Jack and Greg. I suppose you want them bare chested as well."

"If you insist.."

"In your dreams. Come here…"

Christian obediently slid up the bed, level with Syed, and took the list from him. The eighty plus names he had thought of were now reduced to around twenty.

"You really did cross Roxy out!"

Syed tittered.

"I know! It gave me a fleeting burst of joy.."

Looking fondly at Christian's downcast expression, Syed patted his cheek and handed over the pens.

"…Go on, I'm only kidding, put her back on. But you two had better behave!"

Christian put the pens and the list onto the shelf beside him, and grinned wickedly.

"I'm always on my best behaviour, I'm a pillar of respectability."

"Are you? How boring, fuck off and give me back the real Christian."

Syed pushed himself against Christian's side, lifting one of his arms and dipping underneath it.

"I'll start sorting it out tomorrow.."

"I can do it, start ringing around…"

"Er, no. Not that I don't trust you or anything."

"Are you implying I might get carried away? Mmm.."

Syed pressed his mouth against Christian's, silencing him with a long, deep, kiss.

Eventually pulling away, he gazed into Christian's eyes and smiled.

"Yes I am. Are you tired?"

Christian desperately tried to stifle a yawn.

"No, not if…"

"Go to sleep. I love you."

"I love you too."


	4. Chapter 4

"Can you buzz me in?"

Syed dutifully pressed the button and replaced the retriever of the entry phone. He held open the door to the flat, calling down the stairs;

"Did you forget your keys?"

Christian's voice boomed up,

"No, I've got my hands full…"

He appeared into view, laden down with carrier bags.

"Ah.." Syed stepped down to meet him, still trying to keep the door ajar with his foot.

"….You've bought Walford. Do you need a hand?"

"No ta, sunshine, these guns aren't merely for decoration, you know."

Christian kissed Syed's forehead as he bundled past, and piled the bags onto the table, rubbing at the marks left across his palms by the handles. He shiftily tried to pull two of the bags aside as Syed began to nose through them, cringing as they clanked alarmingly.

"Christian, what's in those ones?"

"Which ones?"

"The ones you're trying to hide."

"Nothing.."

"Bags of heavy air? It sounds like bottles. Bottles of booze."

Smiling innocently, Christian made to move the bags.

"A couple of bottles of fine wine, to be savoured, not swilled."

Syed pursed his lips and lightly smacked Christian's hand's away, sighing as he looked inside.

"And Vodka flavoured wine, and Sambuca flavoured wine too, I see. You're incorrigible."

"I needed a reward, I queued for hours at the butcher's, I got meats."

He pointed to a massive chicken, nestling plumply in greaseproof paper.

Syed studied it in surprise.

"So you did. What for?"

"To make sculptures out of, duh. To give to our guests, we've got to feed them."

"Oh, I know that, but I was thinking more along the lines of party food, a few snacks…"

Christian shook his head disapprovingly.

"Syed Masood, what on earth were you intending we should serve up? A silver foil hedgehog with cheese and pineapple spines? A couple of bowls of Twiglets?"

"No…"

"You and me were both involved in a successful catering company, we even won a prize! We can do better for your little brother than that."

Syed pouted, deflating slightly at the prospect of cooking. Noticing the little shift in his mood, Christian grinned encouragingly and slapped him on the shoulder.

"It'll be fun. You, me, team us, in the kitchen, working together. It'll be like the old days! We could wear hats.."

"Please no, not MQ hats, never again.."

"Cheer up, we haven't got any. Though I did mean to save some as a souvenir. We'll improvise. Blue and white pants!"

"On our heads? Sexy. Lucky we only possess black or white ones between us.." He grimaced, ".. and that strange red thong thing of yours. How on earth you ever found me attractive wearing that netty monstrosity, I'll never fathom out.."

Christian rummaged around in one of the bags and threw a bunch of chilli's at him.

"Ah ha, but once I'd seen what was underneath, plus you'd look good in a bin bag. Let's cook! I thought we could start with Pakora's"

* * *

With the radio on at full blast, they worked companionably, side by side, dodging around each other as they stirred, chopped and sliced. Realising, without being asked, if the other needed an ingredient or utensil to be handed over.

Christian suddenly paused, knife suspended above a bunch of carrots, and abruptly stopped singing along to the Black Eyed Peas.

"Should we have invited Afia's dad? The suave, smooth Dr. Yusef? I see him out jogging sometimes, I should make an appointment with him about my knee.."

Syed savagely hacked through the herbs on the chopping board in front of him, and replied huffily;

"According to you, I'm improving your knee brilliantly with my magic fingers. What do you want to see him for?"

Christian tapped him on the nose with a carrot before turning down the volume on the radio.

"I'm winding you up. I love it when you're sulky. But should we ask him along? He seems very popular on the square, with the ladies…"

"Hmm, dunno. Might be rubbing my Mum and Dad's faces in it, a bit, given the history…"

"You're remarkable Sy, they treat you like crap, and you still care about their feelings.."

Christian touched the nape of Syed's neck, beneath his hair, gently, and Syed leant back against the pressure.

"It's about love, isn't it? You should know that, the way I treated you…"

"And look at us now.. Give us a taste of that.."

Syed obligingly scooped up a Pakora from the frying pan and blew on it, holding it out to Christian's mouth. He watched him as he bent closer to take a bite, the strong curve of his throat, the bristle of stubble on his jaw, making him catch his breath with desire.

"Yummy. What are you smiling at?"

Syed began to laugh.

"I've remembered when you were trying to be He Man, and got chutneyed.."

"Cheek. I AM He Man. And I swear you did that on purpose, so I'd get my kit off.."

"Subconsciously intentionally, possibly. I was such an angry, confused mess…"

"You opened up a bit that night, though, like a reluctant clam.."

"Well, Christian, you were nothing if not persistent. Thankfully."

Christian put his arms around Syed's waist, pulling him towards him, smoothing a trace of flour from his cheek.

"We had some laughs though, didn't we? I used to look forward to going to work, to see you, although sometimes I'd feel as lovesick as a teenage girl.."

"Me too, though I kept telling myself I didn't. I used to keep trying to bump into you, so I could feel you skin…"

He stroked along Christian's arm, watching the pale hairs shift beneath his touch.

"And there was me thinking you were a clumsy oaf…"

Meeting Christian's eyes, Syed blinked beguilingly.

"And that other time, the tiles on the unit floor were quite cold, weren't they?"

Christian slipped his hands beneath Syed's T shirt, rubbing them up his spine.

"Yes, they were. What a way to carry on in a food preparation area.."

"Shocking. I can't seem to recall how cold our floor is…"

Christian slowly lowered Syed down.

"Let's see…"

* * *

"Christian!"

Christian looked up, eyes unfocused and saturated with lust.

"Nearly.." He gasped, " …wait for me…"

"No, Christian, something's burning.."

Digging his nails into Christian's shoulders, Syed felt him begin to shudder.

"Fuck, fuck, I can't stop.. Oh shit, as Peggy said, let it buuuurn….."


	5. Chapter 5

"It's not funny, Christian! Help me get out!"

Clutching his stomach, Christian bent double, shaking with laughter. Unable to speak for mirth, he pointed at Syed, stuck behind the dining room table, and uttered a strangled squawk.

"You bastard! People will be arriving soon, and I need a shower, I reek of cooking and sex…"

Syed made an ineffectual attempt to shift the pile of furniture that was trapping him inside the spare room.

Wiping a tear from his cheek, Christian managed to splutter;

"Now you're turning me on…"

"Aaargh, you git, just lift it up! I knew I should have made you go in first, and why have you piled more stuff in front of me? Fine. I'll stay here. It's all going to descend into some sort of Bacchanalian orgy anyway. Sod you…"

Syed slid down as far as he could, trying to move his arm and prevent the lampshade from the standard lamp digging into his head. He watched, scowling, as Christian bounded away, still tittering. He heard the gush of water as the shower switched on and desperately pushed at the wood trapping his feet.

"CHRISTIAN! LET ME OUT, OR I WON'T TELL YOU WHAT I KNOW!"

His bellow had the desired effect and Christian reappeared, reluctantly inquisitive.

"What do you know?"

"Move the fucking table and I might tell you…"

Christian swung the dining chairs out of the way and bent to raise the table high enough for Syed to crawl out. Dishevelled and angry, Syed gave him a savage prod in the thigh as he emerged.

"OW! I wouldn't have left you in there, though you did look funny. And adorably angry and hot.. What is it you know?" Christian replaced the furniture and pushed shut the door, hiding the pile of their possessions from view.

"You can bloody well wait 'til after I've had a shower. And don't try and come in with me, I'm not talking to you.."

"Yes you are, you just did…" Christian pointed out mildly, and was rewarded with a look of such withering fury that he decided not to say anything more, realising that Syed's stress levels were rising, and trapping him in the spare room, however hilarious he had personally found it, may not have been a good move.

* * *

Twisting from his precarious position, balanced on the back of the sofa, Christian jumped down as Syed entered the room and flicked a switch.

"Look!"

Syed admired the strings of multi coloured fairy lights.

"Pretty. It looks miles bigger in here without all the stuff.." He gestured towards the kitchen, "…and the food looks delicious. Where've you hidden all the alcohol?"

"Don't stress Sy, it'll be rationed. I promise you, tonight will be great, sophisticated and fun."

Unconvinced, Syed raised an eyebrow.

"Hmm, we'll see."

"I wish you'd changed your mind about fancy dress though. Are you sure Tam wouldn't have liked it?"

"Pretty sure. Though he did once dress up as a tree.."

"Did he? What, randomly?"

Syed rolled his eyes and tucked away a trailing flex that dangled from the lights.

"Yeah, that's it, one morning he woke up and thought; 'today I shall be a tree!' No, it was in a school play, Macbeth.."

Holding his fingers to his lips, Christian whispered in mock alarm.

"Sssh! You'll jinx the party! Was he single-handedly Great Birnam wood?"

"I think there were three of them, he was basically scenery. I bet you were in all the plays at your school."

"Naturally!" Christian preened himself slightly. " You should have seen my Eliza Doolittle.."

"I expect you'll show me later. Shouldn't you be getting ready?"

Christian glanced at his watch.

"In a bit, everyone will be fashionably late.."

He looked Syed up and down admiringly.

"You look gorgeous. Were you in any plays? Please tell me you dressed up as a pirate.."

"No, and you'll have to wait for your birthday. I was in Grease when I was 14…"

"Oooh! Were you Danny?"

"Er, no. Obviously Michael was Danny.."

Christian stiffened slightly with unreasoned jealousy.

"You weren't Sandy?"

"Fuck off. Simone was Sandy, that girl you saw outside the school reunion, the one who looked as if she'd been hit in the face with a fish when she caught sight of you…"

"I have that effect on people. Were you Doody? Sonny?.."

"Kenickie. I was probably shit.."

"I bet you weren't. Are there photos? I need to see this.."

"There was a video, Michael had it. And don't you dare ask him for a copy, I'll die of shame, all squeaky voice, gangly limbs and hormones. Oh! Speaking of Michael, that's the thing I know…"

"What! What!" Christian clutched his hands with unsuppressed excitement.

"He asked if he could bring someone. A date."


	6. Chapter 6

"Matt! Hello!"

Syed kissed his friend on the cheek and held out his hand to his companion, a tall, thin, pale young man with a prominent adam's apple and kind brown eyes, slightly obscured by the thick lenses of his horn rimmed spectacles.

"This is Calum…."

Matt nervously surveyed the empty room.

"…Are we early?" He reddened with embarrassment, worried he had committed a dreadful faux pas.

Patting him on the shoulder, Syed said reassuringly;

"No, everyone else is late. Even Christian. Can I get you something to drink? There's juices, or a beer?"

Calum asked in a thin reedy voice if he might have a glass of water, and Matt opted for an orange juice.

Handing over their glasses, Syed smiled fondly at Matt.

"You found it okay then?"

"Yes, Calum has an encyclopaedic knowledge of places in London, he once came up with a plan to redesign the tube system, make it more efficient.."

"Really?"

Calum rasped, as if he was dredging up sounds from a dusty, long forgotten larynx.

"I find transport systems fascinating.."

"I bet you do,' mused Syed, immediately chiding himself for being mean.

"That's excellent! You should send it to Boris Johnson. How's Deirdre, Matt?"

"She had to have three more teeth out, so she's even more dribbly now. I see your bruises have gone."

Syed touched his own temple, wincing inwardly at the memory.

"Yes, thanks to yours and Christian's excellent care. Are you still in Acton?"

Matt flushed again, this time with a secret pleasure.

"I spend a lot of time in Hammersmith now, with Calum.." He reached out to squeeze his friend's hand. "… He has a garden, me and Deirdre like it. Your flat's nice.."

"Thank you! We usually have more furniture, but Christian decided to move it out of the way, thought people might want to dance. Don't worry! It's not compulsory.. Excuse me, I'd better get the door…"

* * *

"Zahida! You look beautiful, and Barry!"

"Go on tell him he looks beautiful too, I love it when he does that huffy, scared, heterosexual man thing. You look very handsome, where's your gorgeous boyfriend? Barry wants to flirt with him in a manly way…"

Zahida enveloped Syed in soft arms and he breathed in her sweet fragrance. He stumbled slightly as Barry slapped him hard on the back.

"Take no notice of her, I'm perfectly secure in my sexuality, she just has fantasies.. Where is he? I need to discuss Tricep curls.."

Nodding towards the bathroom, Syed held a hand up to his ear.

"You hear that splashing and singing? That's Christian, leaving me to deal with everyone while he primps himself to perfection. Let me introduce you to Matt and Calum, Matt saved me when I lost my memory, so he is a star. I think there's some beer in the fridge, Barry. Would you mind helping yourself? I'd better go down and prop the street door open…"

* * *

Cramming in the wooden wedge under the door, Syed glanced across the twilight square and listened to the sound of a blackbird calling to it's mate, the sudden infiltration of the jarring clack of high heeled shoes and the jangle of jewellery made his heart jump with an almost forgotten panic, and he turned in alarm to see Roxy sashaying towards him.

"Syed! Alright?"

"Hey Roxy, come on up…"

He stood aside to let her pass, gagging at the waft of her strong perfume, and followed her up the stairs.

Zahida and Barry greeted her warmly, and after shaking hands politely with Matt and Calum, she scanned the flat.

"Where is he then?"

"Still in the shower, I'm afraid. Shall I take your wine for you?"

Syed held out his hand for the bottle.

"Cheers.." She set off towards the bathroom. "..I'll go and drag him out…"

As she swept past, Syed grabbed firmly onto the sleeve of her jacket, making her spin round in alarm, and the rest of the guests pause in their conversation.

"NO! I mean, I will.. Sorry.."

* * *

"Christian!" Syed hissed through the bathroom door. "Hurry up! People are arriving and I need to know where you've hidden the bottle opener.. Bloody hell.."

The door had opened while he ranted, and Christian stood in front of him, smiling broadly, smelling delicious and dressed all in black. The sight of him took Syed's breath away.

"What?" He bent to kiss Syed's forehead.

"Can we ask them to go?"

"Easy tiger, you'll have me all to yourself later. Who's here?"

"Matt and his friend Calum, who looks a bit like a corpse, Zahida, Barry and now Roxy's turned up and she looks thirsty. I'm not cleaning up puke…"

Christian ruffled Syed's hair and laughed.

"Calm down, we're sophisticated remember. The guests of honour not arrived yet?"

Worriedly checking the time on his watch, Syed shook his head.

"Nope. I hope mum hasn't roped him into something.."

"Don't worry, he'll do all he can to get here.."

Christian made a flamboyant entrance into the living room, scooping everyone in turn into an embrace.

"Matt! You look so well, and is this handsome boy Calum? Za, you are just beauty personified, and Baz! Looking good. Sy's sorted you out a drink? Good. Rox! Baby! Let's get that wine open and you can tell me all about you and Michael Moon…"

As he bustled her towards the kitchen, he shot Syed a glance over his shoulder and winked.

"I love a party, me."


	7. Chapter 7

"Tambo! You made it!"

Tamwar shuffled in the doorway, Afia clinging onto his arm, and pushed his glasses back up onto his nose.

"Hi, yes, sorry, sorry. Mum wanted me to check the veg order for the restaurant, dunno why, it's always the same, veg is veg is veg…"

Smiling, Syed hugged him tight, turning to greet Afia.

"Afia, you look lovely. Let me get you a drink, there's food.. Christian's around somewhere, oh here he is.."

"The happy couple!" Both of them crumpled slightly under the force of his embrace. "Afia, fabulous dress. Who are these lovely ladies?"

"Hey, Christian, these are my mates, Emily, Mysha and Tazmeen…" Afia drawled and pointed vaguely in the direction of the three wide eyed giggling girls behind her.

"Welcome, welcome. Give me your coats, Sy, are you doing the refreshments?"

"Yes, Christian, I'm doing the refreshments.. I'll introduce you to our friends.."

* * *

The room was beginning to fill up, the volume of chatter rising. Syed saw Christian hare across to the door and greet Darren and Jodie. He ducked behind Barry as Christian pointed out his location and Jodie waggled her fingers at him.

Noticing Roxy scowling, Christian paused as he raced by with a tray of food.

"What's up with you, you grumpy old mare?" He asked.

"Tanya and Greg have just come in, Tanya gave me evils.."

"She's going to wreak a terrible revenge for her gravy boat. Have a vol au vent.."

She stuffed one ungraciously into her mouth and muttered;

"You broke it, not me. Vol au vents, you're so bloody grown up nowadays.."

He balanced the tray on one arm and pinched her cheek.

"Aw, diddums. This is Sy's party, for his brother, so stop being an old cow and I might let you have another glass of wine…" He looked around, almost tipping the contents of the tray onto the floor, as the door burst open and Sam shrieked;

"The party has officially started, Sam and Steve have ARRIVED!"

Christian saw Roxy's expression brighten and laughed.

"You feel better now, don't you, you old fag hag. Sam, you bastard! Have some pastry, it's puff!"

"I'm sure it is darling. Mwah! Roxy! Long time no see! You look bored, is Christian being dull and coupley again?"

Christian made a rude sign with his free hand and went to place the tray back in the kitchen, returning to kiss Steve and compliment him on the tightness of his T shirt.

"Are you well? I swear you get bigger every time I see you.."

"Steroids.." Sam cut in.

"Fuck off Sam." Steve responded mildly. "Where's Syed? Oh here he is.."

Syed felt his feet raise from the ground as Steve lifted him up, crushing his ribs.

"Put him down Ste, you don't know where he's been.." Christian helped to extricate a gasping Syed and brushed him down.

"..Better? Good. I think everyone's here now…Except.."

"Michael.." They spoke in unison, and Syed stuck his lower lip out sadly.

"Boo, maybe he can't come.."

"Too busy with his hot date?" Christian suggested. Sam pushed his inquisitive sharp face between them.

"Who are we talking about?"

"Never you mind, you wouldn't have been able to leave him alone. Come and meet Tamwar and Afia, they've got engaged.."

Christian ignored the frantic shaking of Syed's head and the mouthing of "NO!" and pulled Sam by the hand over to where the couple were chatting with Zahida and Matt.

"So this is the delectable Syed's brother! You look very dapper.." Sam ran his fingers slowly down Tamwar's front. "…I'm loving the geek chic.." He spotted Matt and Calum lurking in the background. "It's obviously a theme tonight, I feel all wrong. Christian, you bitch, why didn't you tell me it was geek chic night? Ooh is this your fiancee? Purple so suits you, come with me and tell me how you were wooed…."

Tamwar opened and shut his mouth three times as Afia willingly followed Sam to the other side of the room, screwed up his nose and asked Syed;

"Who, what? Dapper? Is that good?"

"Yes Tambo, and Afia's quite safe with Sam.."

"I'd worked that out all by myself. You're not going to make a speech are you?"

Syed balked slightly and Christian surreptitiously pulled the piece of paper that was poking from his back pocket and discreetly backed away.

"No, well, I had written something, but if you don't want me too.."

"If you've gone to the trouble of writing something, perhaps it will be alright, though I think Christian just nicked it…"

Syed felt for the notes he'd prepared earlier and found them gone.

"So he has.."

"It's only, this is enough, it's nice. And I want you there, at the official one, if, well, you know that.."

Tears pricked in Syed's eyes and he gripped his little brother's hand briefly before an embarrassed Tamwar pulled away.

"Thank you, Tam. Thank you."

"It might be a bit, you know, hideous.."

"I can cope, I've coped with worse.."

A massive squeal of girlish laughter made them both look over to where Afia and her friends clustered round Sam, Steve and Christian, rolling about at, Syed suspected, a disgusting innuendo. He caught the incredulous words; 'A horse?' and grimaced at Tamwar.

"Do you want me to rescue her?"

"I think she can look after herself."

* * *

Syed busied around the party, making sure everyone was happy, topping up drinks, offering food, watching with pleasure at the sight of Tamwar, deep in conversation with Matt, Calum and Darren. He realised he hadn't seen Christian for a while and beamed with delight as he felt arms slip around his waist and a warm kiss press on his ear.

"Hello you! Where've you been?"

"Talking to Jodie.."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Do you want a napkin to wipe the blood from your ears?"

"Syed Masood, shame on you, she's fab! We've been having a chat about lip plumpers and the beneficial effects of haemorrhoid cream.."

"Jodie has piles? I really don't think I wanted to know that.."

"For crow's feet, dummy. Cheaper than a facelift."

"I won't be able to take you seriously if you start dabbing Anusol on your face."

"I'll have to do it covertly then. Afia and her girls are having a whale of a time with the two S's. I think they're shocked and thrilled in equal measure."

"Who's Roxy talking to? She's not in a drunken messy heap under some coats is she?"

"No, she's a bit gloomy tonight, poor thing. I left her talking women's stuff with Zahida. Barry seems to have started a bromance with Greg.."

"Christian, are you jealous?"

"No, but Ian might be, if he finds out. Are you having fun?"

Syed studied the laughing guests, took in the happy babble that bubbled above the music from the Ipod dock.

"It's exhausting, but yeah, I think I might be."

"Told you it would be okay. I'm going to go round and see if everyone's got a drink, you go and have a chat with someone, I'll take over for a bit.."

He relieved Syed of his jug of juice and went to fetch a fresh bottle from the fridge. As he passed the front door, he heard a faint bang. Tentatively pulling it open, slightly concerned he might find a gang of gatecrashers on the other side, he stepped back quickly as a dishevelled figure, thick dark hair sticking up messily, blue eyes narrowed and glittering, stumbled into the room.

"Hello Michael!"


	8. Chapter 8

Christian's hands shot out to support Michael as he flung his arms around his neck, bashing him on the back with the sparkly cardboard bag he was clutching. He felt a warm kiss on his neck and heard a muffled murmur of "Christine!"

Trying, with difficulty, to push Michael upright and disentangle him at the same time, Christian laughed.

"Very close, Michael. You are astonishingly pissed, and wearing a cravat…"

Michael clutched at the red spotted silk, frowning in bafflement.

"Am I? I don't think I was this morning." He delved clumsily into the bag and pulled out two bottles.

"I bought Cristal!" He peered at the other one. "And Lucozade!" He smiled disarmingly and thrust the bottles at Christian.

"I've been to the opening of something…"

"Envelope?" Suggested Christian.

"Yes, that's it. Big party, free drink, to celebrate a huge envelope. It opened and hot men jumped out, and did a sexy dance. There's a goody bag, with good things in. Not the Lucozade, don't know where I got that.. Oh yes! Tiny shop!"

"Minute Mart.." Christian patiently relieved Michael of the bag, took a quick look at the contents and whistled, impressed.

"…Do you realise how much that perfume costs?"

"More than a pound?" Michael guessed obligingly. "Thought Tam might like the goody's from my bag, engagement present.."

"I'm not sure he'd have a use for the silver false eyelashes and the face mask, but I daresay Afia will be thrilled with most of it. Lets get you downstairs, in the fresh air, see if we can sober you up a bit. Sy will get arsey if he sees you like this.."

Michael batted his long black eyelashes and looked puzzled.

"But he loves me. I'm sad, he'll give me a kiss.."

"Believe me sunshine, he won't be impressed. He adores me, and if I was in your state, he'd give me a kick, and an earful, come on.."

Swinging Michael's arm over his shoulder, Christian propelled him towards the stairs, checking anxiously that Syed hadn't spotted them, but he was turned away from them, laughing uproariously at something Tanya had just said.

As they passed the Queen Vic, Michael made a dash for the entrance and Christian had to quickly grab onto to back of his suit jacket and steer him away.

"No you don't, you've had enough. Walk with me.. Nice suit by the way.."

Michael tried to focus his eyes on what he was wearing, looking down suspiciously at the well cut black cloth, trying ineffectually to tuck his crumpled white shirt back into the waistband of his trousers.

"Ta. It cost money. Why am I wearing this?" He pulled the cravat away from his neck and sent it spinning onto the pavement. Christian bent to retrieve it, balancing the weight of Michael's drunkenly floppy body against his hip.

"Not a clue. It seemed like a good idea?"

"Lots of things seem like a good idea…At the time." Michael commented morosely.

"Sit here.." Christian ordered him down onto Arthur's bench and sat beside him.

"What's up Michael? Where's your date?"

"Date? Like a Christmas date in a box with 'eat me' written on it?" He wrinkled his nose in confusion. "Is it a bring a dried fig party? Is that why you won't let me in? I want to talk to Syed…" He made to stand up but Christian forced him back, placing his hands on his face, turning it to make Michael meet his eyes.

"God, this is like dealing with a three year old, I'm beginning to understand why drunks piss Sy off so much. Stop being obtuse Michael, Syed said you were bringing someone, what's happened?"

Michael fiddled glumly with the undone buttons of his shirt.

"Nothing. That is what has happened, zilch, zero, fuck all. Especially the fuck bit.." He gagged and Christian tipped his head down.

"Put your head between your knees.."

"Can't I put it between yours?" Christian chose to ignore the muffled, plaintive request.

"Deep breaths, wooah!"

Michael began to retch and Christian hastily guided him over to the bushes, rubbing between his shoulder blades as he was violently sick on some fresh, jaunty spring daffodils.

"Sorry." Michael apologised to the now drooping flowers and straightened up. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he grinned ruefully at Christian.

"Sorry. I suppose a snog's out of the question?"

"It's an attractive proposition, but I think I'll pass. Do you think you could be mistaken for a rational human being yet? Sy will be wondering where I've gone, he'll be waiting for a text asking him to meet me in the alley, but we've got guests to see to.."

"Gutting.."

"Hey ho, there's always later. Back inside you, we'll see if we can sneak in, though with you looking so dangerously dashing and disreputable, getting you past Sam and Roxy unseen might prove tricky. Lets get copious amounts of black coffee down your neck and then you can tell Uncle Christian all about it."


	9. Chapter 9

Christian peered around the door to check if the coast was clear. Sam immediately looked over and stuck his tongue out, so he ducked back into the hallway.

"Michael, sit on the stairs for a bit, I'll get you some coffee.."

Sliding obediently down the wall, Michael flopped onto the top step.

"You're very commanding. Does Syed like you ordering him about?"

"In bed, yes. Out of it, not so much… Just be quiet for a bit.."

"QUIET!" Michael shouted, then held his finger to his lips and whispered "As a mouse. Sshhhhh…." He winked and leant his head against the wall, innocently opening his blue eyes wide and grinning impishly.

Christian tutted, and muttered; "nightmare…"

He went into the flat and weaved amongst the groups of people, hearing snippets of conversations as he passed. Sam and Roxy were lounging on the bed, bitching, Zahida, Tanya, Jodie, Afia and her friends were all dancing in the middle of the room and shrieking tunelessly along to 'Rolling In The Deep.' Barry, Steve and Greg were deep in a conversation about food supplements for building muscle, and Tamwar, Darren, Matt and Calum seemed to be discussing computer games, at least, he hoped they were, either that or they really had killed legions of people.

He found Syed in the kitchen, trying to unscrew the top from a bottle of lemonade.

"Give it here, weedy…" Christian took it from him and twisted it off with ease.

"I nearly had it, my fingers are sticky.. Where have you been? I missed you." Syed put his hands in the back pockets of Christian's jeans and pulled him towards him.

"I've been dealing with a guest, need to make him a coffee."

"Who?" Syed squeezed around him to look into the room. "There's no one new…"

"I've parked him on the stairs, he's a bit…"

"It's not Geoff from the pawn shop is it? Or Ian?"

"It's Michael.."

Syed's eyes lit up.

"Why didn't you say? I'll go and get him. Is he on his own?"

"Yes, but he's a bit.."

"What?"

"Er, tired and emotional?"

Frowning, Syed handed Christian a mug from the kitchen cabinet.

"Pissed, you mean."

"Maybe…"

"What sort? Laughing at things that aren't funny?"

Christian shook his head and dropped two generous spoonfuls into the cup.

"Nope."

"Dancing and pulling his trousers down? Crying? Wanting to pick a fight? Puking? Trying to sleep with everyone?"

Pouring the hot water, Christian smiled.

"Well, he's been sick, and, to be honest, I think the last one comes as naturally as breathing to him. He'll be alright, I'll sort him out. Unless you want me to send him home?"

Syed couldn't hide the little flash of regret at the thought.

"No, I'd like to see him, he's made the effort, after all, and he was so good to us when I went missing.."

"You fancy him."

"Fuck off. You do."

Christian picked up the steaming cup of coffee and kissed Syed very slowly and thoroughly for a while. Eventually, pulling away, he said;

"Drinks getting cold and I'm getting hot. I won't be long…"

* * *

"Here you go, careful.."

Michael winced when he took a mouthful, and hung out his tongue, trying to cool the surface.

"..You don't scald yourself…"

Squatting down beside him, Christian tapped his leg to make him shift over.

"So, what happened with the boyfriend?"

Mulishly, Michael blew on the coffee and grimaced.

"He isn't my boyfriend." He answered shortly.

"What's his name?"

"Shit bag."

"That's pretty. Is shit his first name?"

"Rory. He's called Rory, and he won't have sex with me."

"Aaah! So Rory is either, A; straight or B; mental.."

"Neither, he's uber brainy, he reads massive books without pictures. In fact, that's his job. Tonight, he said he'd come, and then decided he'd rather go to a lecture on restoration comedies than spend any time with me.." Michael's shoulders sagged in despair and Christian rubbed his back fondly.

"Dump him then. You can get whoever you want with a flash of those pretty eyes…"

"Hmm, that's part of the problem. He thinks I'm vacuous and silly…"

Michael heard Christian's low, barely suppressed, chuckle and elbowed him in the side.

"…Sod off. He'll only sleep with me if I can prove I'm willing to wait for him. He wants me to be celibate for a month!"

"And how long have you managed?"

Looking at his watch, Michael pulled a face.

"Three hours.."

"Then maybe he's not worth waiting for? Is he some ripped sex god? Beautifully sensuous with a luscious mouth?"

"No, he isn't you, or Syed. He has got a delicious mouth now you come to mention it, and dark, dark brown eyes, like an animal's eyes.."

"What, Bambi?"

"More dangerous, hidden. You can never tell what he's thinking. I can guess though, mostly he's thinking 'Michael is an annoying knob, I wish he'd piss off so I can read Nietzsche in peace'.."

"To be honest with you, he doesn't sound much fun. Are you sure it's not just the thrill of the chase?"

Michael sighed and put his head on Christian's shoulder.

"He's hilarious, wit as dry as a desert and put down's sharper than acid. Oh who am I kidding, he's right, I am six foot of penis driven nonsense. I feel less spinny now. Can I see Syed?" He handed over the cup and levered himself upright, Christian looked up at him, spotting the dark circles, the faint bruised look of defeat that he'd often seen in his own eyes, and Syed's.

"Of course you can, he's looking forward to it."


	10. Chapter 10

"Syed! My heart feels funny!"

"Aw, Michael!"

Turning anxiously to Christian, Syed asked;

"Should we call Afia's dad?"

"No, he means he's experiencing emotions other than lust, which has come as a shock to his system.."

Michael clutched Syed to him, smothering him with the strength of his hug. Pushing his face into his hair, he murmured.

"I'm sad and I smell of sick."

Syed sniffed, wondering whether to tell him that what he could really sense was alcohol, cigarettes and a very expensive aftershave. And something else, the scent of his skin igniting sensations of a time that seemed long ago.

"No, no you don't. You smell of school."

"Floor mops and watery cottage pie?"

"Silly.." Levering Michael's arms away from his neck with difficulty, Syed smiled at him. "…Memories, you smell of memories. Why are you sad?"

"Rory doesn't love me…"

Catching Christian's eye over Michael's shoulder, Syed mouthed "Who?"

"Boyfriend." Christian answered, aware of Sam and Roxy stirring from their position on the bed, propelled by curiosity.

"Bollock friend." Michael snorted. "He thinks I'm a tart."

"You are a bit of a tart.." Christian reminded him gently, trying to prise his fingers away from Syed's.

"Fair point. I could change.. TAMWAR!"

Tamwar jumped out of his skin and tried to hide behind Afia.

"Oh, hi, Michael. Nice to see you. Again.." He stepped back as Michael grabbed his elbows.

"And you! You look so smart! Though I liked you in your jim jams.."

Eyes as wide as saucers, Afia looked from Tamwar to Syed and then to Michael.

"Oops!" Michael grinned charmingly. "Don't worry, there's only one gay Masood, although I did sometimes wonder about Shabnam…."

"Michael!" Syed stared at him in shock. "You know full well she used to positively dribble whenever she saw you, kept making excuses to come into my room when you were there, asking if I knew where her dolls were.."

Michael giggled. "Were we playing with them?" The question drowned out by Christian's interjection;

"What was he doing in your room?"

"No, and homework.."

Both Syed and Michael sensed Christian glowering, Syed reached out for his hand and Michael tried to ease the atmosphere by conversationally asking;

"Did you play with your sister's dolls, Christian?"

"I was too busy with my Action Men. They had a very healthy sex life as I recall…"

"Oh mine too, maybe not that healthy thinking about it, they'd do anything, Barbie, Lego Men, Bears, My Little Pony, the dog.." Michael began to look downcast again and Syed and Christian mimed to each other behind his back, trying to decide which one of them should take him away and give him a talking to.

Sighing, Christian realised from Syed's frantic flapping that it was going to have to be him. He put his hand on Michael's shoulder, preparing to steer him towards the kitchen, but the way was blocked by Sam and Roxy, both almost combusting with nosiness.

"Ooh, hello. Who's this then?…" Sam put his head to one side and carefully scrutinised Michael. "….I don't think I've had the pleasure.."

"Well, you never know your luck!" Michael held out his hand and laughed. Sam stroked the palm briefly and pouted seductively.

"Oh for fuck's sake.." Christian groaned. "This isn't the back room at Trade. Sam, Michael, Roxy, Michael. Syed's friend from school."

"Ah!" Roxy's eyebrows shot up so high they nearly disappeared into her hair.

"I've seen you before, in the pub that time!"

Michael leaned towards her, his face close enough for her to feel his breath on her cheek.

"I've seen you twice, the first time you were being a very, very naughty girl.."

Roxy wriggled with delight.

"Was I?"

" Sorry to break up the party, but Michael's just coming with me, he needs a drink.." Christian frog marched him over to the kitchen, ignoring his shouts of "Champagne!" and pushed a glass of water at him.

Studying it with disgust, Michael suddenly remembered something and downed it in one,. Slamming the glass into the sink, he made a dash for the discarded goody bag.

"Michael! Not champagne, please…"

"No, not champagne. A present." He held out a brown card envelope. "Look!"

Christian unpeeled the flap and pulled out a photograph, his eyes misting with tears as he saw Syed's image, young and seemingly carefree. He lounged on the grass, white shirt open, cricket bat discarded beside him, smiling into the sun.

"Oh, thank you…"

"S'alright. I've got more, but that was always my favourite, so I made you a copy."

"Did you take it?"

"Yep, I'm good, aren't I?"

"Yes, Michael, you are. Though you are being a right royal pain in the arse tonight. Can I trust you not to misbehave while I show it to Syed? Then I need to talk to you about a certain Grease video.."

"Ah ha! You want the Grease video, then you'll have to let me drink champagne!"

"Just shut up and stay there, I'll be back in a minute. I'll bring Sy and he can sort out your love life for you."

* * *

Syed paused in his conversation with Zahida and held out his arm as Christian approached, sliding it around his waist.

"Hey baby, what have you got there?"

"You.."

Taking the photo, Syed grimaced. "I've got a spot on my neck, and look how short my hair is! I remember that day, I think we'd lost, but we were having a right laugh.." He suddenly froze.

"You didn't ask him about the Grease video did you?"

Zahida took the photograph from him.

"Aww, so handsome. What Grease video?"

Tapping the side of his nose, Christian whispered;

"The one Syed wants none of us to see, but that might end up on YouTube. Are you having a good time?"

"Yes I am, Barry's found himself some new chums, and is therefore out of my hair for a bit, I've had a dance, I've had a giggle, got to perve with the girls at your delicious friend…"

" Oh shit, where is he?" Syed scanned the room in alarm and located Michael, lounging very near to Calum, who he seemed to have trapped against the wall. Calum's glasses had misted up and two small patches of colour on his cheeks blazed, contrasting, clown like and vivid, with his deathly pallor.

Matt stood nearby, unhappily stuffing Tortilla chips, one straight after the other, into his mouth, trying not to mind.

Syed and Zahida both turned wordlessly to Christian.

"Have I got to go again?" He clutched his head in despair.

"Think of it as practice for when we've got kids.."

"Hmm."

"I'll make sure Matt's alright, then bring Michael over to me. Oh, and can you get me a glass?"

Christian half closed his eyes and stared at Syed's mouth.

"As long as you don't call me names…"

" I promise, only the one's you like…"


	11. Chapter 11

"What? WHAT? I was only talking. I liked his glasses, Rory wears glasses, the speccy twat. That boy kept talking about tube trains, I told him I had an Oyster card, but he didn't seem impressed, said it was in my trouser pocket and he could feel it, if he liked…What?"

Christian manhandled Michael back into the kitchen and pushed him up against the sink.

"You were upsetting his partner…"

Gaping guiltily, Michael's hand flew to cover his mouth.

"Was I? Oh shit, fuck, sorry.."

"It's not me you need to apologise to.."

Christian glanced around the door to watch as Syed gently relieved Matt of the Dorito's, saw Calum's bemused shaking of the head as he kissed Matt on the cheek, and smiled with relief as the three of them began to laugh.

"I think you got away with it. If you need to flirt with someone, do it with Sam."

"Too damn easy, I've got him already."

"Roxy then."

"Too many breasts."

"I think she's only got the required amount, but your guess is as good as mine. Talk to Greg and Barry, they're fit. Barry loves talking dirty.."

Pulling a face, Michael slumped back against the draining board, knocking over a glass.

"Whoops! Too straight. Pointless."

Christian laughed.

"Worth a try, surely? Must have worked for you before? Used to for me.."

"Their subsequent guilt bores me." Michael wondered if the long word had come out correctly, and where he had dragged it up from.

"Fair enough. Congratulations on 'subsequent' by the way, not easy for a pissed bloke to say. That is what you said wasn't it? You weren't talking about squids? Steve then, he's lovely!"

Michael rolled his eyes.

"Subsquidscent. It'd be like trying to get off with a mountain, size of him. Anyway, all those massive muscles and bulgy veins, he probably hasn't got much of a penis…"

"You, are dreadful. Sam assures me, often, and in hideous graphic detail, that he does. Still, if you get Sam or Steve, you usually get the other one thrown in for good measure.."

Instantly, Michael seemed to perk up.

"Do you now? That's an idea… Oh bollocks, I think I'm beginning to sober up. I can feel the shame seeping up from my toes. I've been an incredibly annoying prat, haven't I?

Christian came to stand beside him and folded his arms, nudging against Michael, he nodded.

"Yes, you have, but it's helped me realise what a complete and utter pain I must have been when I was hurting over Sy.."

"But it's alright now? You got a happy ending?"

"Happy beginning.." Christian corrected him.

"And is he okay now? Remembered everything?"

"Yes. Which is good, except, of course, for the bad things,the things he's had to endure to get where he is today, the ones that make him weep in his sleep…."

"Oh.."

They were silent for a moment. Michael picked up the glass he had knocked over and ran his finger thoughtfully around the rim.

"What about you, Christian? Now he's back and safe, nothing scares you, does it? You seem so fearless.."

Christian slowly took the glass from his hand.

"I have an irrational fear that he'll change his mind, wake up one morning and think he made the wrong choice, realise I'm not who he wants, that I'm just a catalyst to set him free. Look, you've got me maudlin now! I need to give this.." He waggled the tumbler. "…to Sy. Oh, here he is!"

"Hello! Look at you two, always in the kitchen at parties! Is that for me? It's okay, I found where I'd put my drink.. Zahida and Baz are heading off, and I think Tanya and Greg too. Darren and Jodie have just left. Jodie wanted to know whether you're called Christian because your parents are Christians… Do you want to say goodbye?"

As Christian made to leave, Tamwar and Afia appeared in the doorway, Afia clutching Michael's goody bag ro her chest.

Christian grabbed the bottle of champagne that was poking out the top and popped the cork with practiced ease, taking a large swig, he opened his eyes wide at Syed.

"I need a drink. First one tonight. You can keep the Lucozade and the eyelashes though, Afia. And that perfume, did you see?"

"Yeah, it's really cool.. We've had a great time, wild, thank you…"

"But mum keeps texting me…" Tam shrugged.

"Turn your phone off." Christian suggested, and Tamwar and Syed exchanged a sympathetic glance.

"Not that easy.. Thank you for having us." Tamwar held out his hand optimistically and braced himself for the assault he knew was imminent. Christian nearly knocked him and Afia over as he hugged them both, making his way past and taking another gulp of champagne, he called behind him;

"Always a pleasure! ROXY, you old cow!…"

"You really did have a good time?" Syed's brow creased with worry.

"Awesome!" said Afia and Tamwar smiled.

"Yes. And you will, you know, come? If I can wrangle it?"

"Nothing would keep me away.."

Glowing with happiness, Syed embraced them both, and watched them leave, weaving cautiously around the dancing Sam, Steve, Roxy and Christian, Tamwar neatly dodging the slap that was aimed at his bottom.

"Aww.." Syed turned glowing eyes to a chastened Michael.

"Now then, what's up with you?"


	12. Chapter 12

"Syed, I think I may have gone mad…"

"So you haven't changed at all then." Syed laughed and positioned himself opposite, studying Michael's downcast blue eyes.

"Who's this boyfriend, Rory is it? And what's he done?"

Michael touched the scar above his lip and took in a sharp, hissing, breath.

"He hasn't done anything, or anyone, or, more precisely, me. And it's driving me crazy. He won't sleep with me until I stop catting around, and I can't until he sleeps with me…"

"Ah, I see. It isn't an entirely unreasonable request though, is it? Sorry to point out the obvious.."

Sliding down the kitchen cabinets, Michael slumped to the cold tiles of the floor, Syed had a brief flash of memory at the things that had gone on there, earlier that day, recalled the roughness of the tiles on his bare back, and tried not to grin.

"You're right, of course, I'd got used to being irresistible. After you, you always seem to manage to ignore my charms.." He smiled ruefully.

"The first time I was petrified, now, what can I say? I have Christian. I don't want anyone else. If he's got you feeling this way, might he not be worth the effort?"

"He's definitely worth the effort, but am I? I might manage to live like a nun for a month, he might start to trust me and, true to form, I'll notice a sexy arse, one thing will lead to another, and he'll never speak to me again…"

"Of course you're worth it! Look at you! You're handsome, tall, funny.. Oh, and by the way, I like your hair longer, it really suits you…"

Absentmindedly, Michael stroked the top of his own head, messing up his hair even more.

"Ta. You still don't want me though.."

"Because I have Christian. And we wouldn't do, Michael, we wouldn't fit. The things me and him have been through, the way he never truly gave up on me. You would have been out of the door in a nanosecond.."

Dark blue eyes met tawny gold, and for the briefest moment they were both silent. Michael reluctantly dragged his gaze away.

"That long? And look at me, I'm flirting with you now, even though I think your boyfriend is fantastic and ideal for you, I still chance my arm. I'm a cock.."

"A massive one, fnarr. Oh shit, I'm turning into Christian…."

The volume on the music from the other room was suddenly cranked up, and a raucous rendition of 'Love's About To Change' began.

"Donna Summer? Sorry to break it to you, Syed, I think your friends are gay.."

"Shocker! I'd seen some signs, especially with Christian, the things he keeps trying to do to me.. Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to rub it in.."

Seeing Michael's stricken expression, he sat beside him on the floor and took hold of his hand.

"Rub it in, fnarr.." Michael managed a weak smile.

"Fnarr fest. This Rory, he hasn't dumped you completely though has he? Despite the fact that you're still carrying on as if you were single, so he must have feelings for you, think you're worth taking a chance on.."

"But that just makes me feel more of a shit. The way he'll look at me, as if I'm an alien species that he feels compelled to look after, in case I somehow damage the planet, or myself.."

Syed have his hand a little squeeze.

"I expect it's you he's worried about."

"That's it, though. I'm having a whale of a time, I just want to keep having fun, and have him too.."

"You want to have your cake and eat it? But that's not fair. Eventually the cake gets pissed off at being taken for granted, and, believe me, they take some convincing when you finally come to your senses."

Laying his head on Syed's shoulder, Michael sighed.

"What's going to become of me!" He wailed theatrically, making Syed laugh.

"Drama queen. Whatever you want, is my answer. You need to make a choice."

"Sexy Syed! Christian says there's another bottle of wine stashed in here somewhere, and we're allowed to have it, because we've been sophisticated.. OH!"

Sam's sharp, clever eyes took in Syed and Michael sitting close beside each other, spotted their joined hands and bellowed;

"CHRISTIAN! Your dirty bf is making out on the kitchen floor, which I think is just rude and greedy…"

"Again? Takes ages to get the marks out.. Ah."

Pausing in the doorway, Christian took a step back, making as if to retreat.

Syed quickly held out his hands, beckoning to him.

"I've been trying to sort out this nutter, pull me up." He grabbed onto Christian, bouncing upright and wrapping his arms around his waist.

"We've decided I'm beyond hope.."

Michael stood and watched the pair of them exchange a look, experienced the tangible spark of electricity that flowed between them like a jolt to his heart.

"No we haven't." Syed scolded. "You have, because you're in a panic about love. Tell him, Christian."

"Michael, you're in a panic about love. And you're an idiot. Can we go in the other room? I feel like we're in a record breaking attempt for how many gays can you fit in a galley kitchen.. The wine's in the fridge, Sam. Knock yourself out.."

Handing Michael a glass of wine, Sam ran his fingers down his arm.

"We were thinking about going on to Soho, if you fancy it? Me and Ste that is, madam there is soo boring she has to get back for her daughter."

"Unless.." Roxy cut in. ".. Christian, you couldn't look after her could you? She'll be asleep, so she'll be no.."

Steve fixed her with a stare so fierce the words died in her throat.

"Look at them.." He pointed to Christian and Syed, leaning against each other, barely able to lose eye contact for a second.

"Do they look like they're in the mood for babysitting?"

"In the mood for lurrve!" Trilled Sam. "Michael, darling, you'll come won't you?"

"I don't know.." Michael tried to summon some resolve, thought of Rory's face, turned to him, trying to hide the hurt, looked at Syed, nestled beneath Christian's arm, an expression of sheer contentment. Then he tasted the alcohol, imagined bright lights, chatter, a stranger's body thrust against his own.

Putting down his glass, he winked at Sam.

"Go on then, do your worst…"

They found their coats and dragged an unwilling Roxy to the door.

"I'll see you home safe." Michael offered.

"Aww, poor Rox! We'll send you updates of the fun we're having! Maybe even pictures!" Sam crowed and headed towards the stairs. "Such a shame, should have kept your legs together.."

Michael turned before he left, and blew Christian and Syed a kiss.

"I'm so very sorry I was a pain.."

"No you weren't"

"That's okay.." They spoke at the same time.

"I didn't ruin the party, did I?"

Christian smiled kindly.

"You just made it that little bit more entertaining…"

"Ring us, keep us updated.." Syed let go of Christian long enough to wave goodbye.

"I will do. I love you both.."

"Good. Now fuck off!" Laughing, Christian shut the door behind them all, hearing their over excited shouts and ribaldries echoing away across the square.

"Thought they'd never go.." He surveyed the mess around him, plates piled high, glasses wedged beneath the sofa, and whimpered.

"Do we have to clear this up now?"

"It'll be much worse tomorrow morning.." Syed glanced at the clock. "One o'clock! I mean today then, I'll get a bin bag.."

The door buzzer made them both jump.

"Bet it's Roxy with Amy, going 'I knew you didn't really mind!'.." Grumbling, Syed pressed the release button and opened the door, calling down the stairs;

"We're shut! Anything you forgot is now legally ours.. Oh! Hello… Rory?"


	13. Chapter 13

Rory blinked as he entered, almond shaped dark eyes, behind large black rimmed spectacles, adjusting slowly to the light.

"Hello!" He touched nervously at the flop of golden brown hair that hung over his forehead.

"You must be Christian and Syed. He described you both very well."

Christian took in his appearance quickly, slightly taller than Syed, a lean, spare frame in tatty jeans and a vintage tweed jacket, that he suspected had probably once cost a fortune. High cheekbones and a soft mouth, the top lip curved and full. He sensed in him a stillness, an absence, as if he were continually wondering where he might have put something. Christian guessed, correctly, that on this occasion, it was his heart.

"Did he? What did he say?" Syed asked, curious to know.

Rory coughed slightly and paused, before replying with a slow smile;

"That one of you was breathtakingly beautiful and the other brain meltingly hot. You can choose which one you want to be. I'm sorry, It's late, early in fact, I'm intruding. I was wondering if Michael were still here…"

"Don't worry, come in. Can we get you anything? Tea? Coffee? A drink? Christian what have we got?" Syed stood aside to let Rory enter, which he did, hesitantly.

"There's beer left, some wine, juice…"

"No, no. Thank you. I can't stop, I've left the cab outside with the meter running, I can see he's not here. It was just.."

The pair of them turned kind, concerned faces to his and waited patiently, the combined sense of care made him decide to be forthcoming.

"He left me a message, and now he's not answering his phone. It was a bit garbled, he seemed.."

"Emotional?"

Syed suggested, and Rory's mouth curved ruefully.

"Bladdered."

Christian gave a short bark of laughter and muttered "And the rest.." before he was hushed by a pointed stare from Syed.

"He didn't leave that long ago, I'm not sure where he was going, he was with some friends of ours. We could give them a ring, get him to call you.."

Beginning to back towards the stairs, Rory demurred.

"Thank you, but no. He knows where I am.."

"He may have decided to go home?"

Rory caught Christian's eye, and a glimmer of knowing amusement passed between them at Syed's innocent idea.

"He'll be gone all night. Nice to have met you, Michael's very fond of you both. I hope he wasn't too much trouble?"

"He was fine…" As Rory made to leave the flat, Christian added; "..and Rory.."

"Mmm?"

"Don't give up on him."

* * *

"I can see what Michael meant about him being hard to fathom out…"

Throwing paper plates into the bin bag, Christian disagreed.

"No, that was a man in pain."

"Do you think so? He seemed a bit cold…"

"Ice can burn you. He's in love, trust me, I know the signs."

"Ooh.." Syed looked pleased. ".. So there might be hope!"

"I wouldn't choose a hat just yet, Michael seems to have made his choice."

Syed picked up a handful of glasses, clanking them against each other, and pondered.

"I don't think so. I think he's still in the process of choosing…"

"Could be.." Christian threw the bin bag into the kitchen and slumped onto the sofa. "..Do you want to move this back now, or shall we wait 'til the morning?"

"It is the morning. Do it later, eh? Need to hoover, and I can't be bothered now. You look shattered."

" I am. Looking after your fancy man was exhausting, so thank you, for all the times you've had to do it for me.."

Syed took the glasses to the sink and came back to collect some more, giving Christian's legs a gentle nudge as he passed.

"I won't say it's a pleasure, because, as you know, it's dull. And what do you mean 'fancy man'?"

"I saw you holding hands.." Christian yawned and lay on his back with his arms behind his head, staring thoughtfully at the, now unlit, string of fairy lights.

"Oh shut up, he was like an unhappy kid, looking for comfort. Don't start that again. Who's to say what the two of you were getting up to out in the square?"

"One of us was puking his guts up and blithering on, and it wasn't me. Sy?"

"What?"

"If I hadn't taken you home, if I'd stuck to my guns and not just turned to mush the minute you touched me, had continued in my façade of moving on. What would you have done?"

Syed closed his eyes briefly, feeling a sad tightness tug at his throat.

"Kept on at you, been as persistent as you were for me, made you believe you could trust me, that I wouldn't throw another wobbly, wouldn't ever deny what we had. What's brought this on, silly?"

"Dunno. Feel needy…"

"Get your needy arse off the sofa and help me with this tidying up.."

Picking up another handful of glasses, Syed took them to the kitchen and turned on the taps. Squirting washing up liquid into the bowl, he felt Christian's presence in the doorway behind him.

"Do you want to dry?" He asked, plunging his hands into the water, without turning round.

"There was never any chance I wouldn't bring you home with me, not a chance in hell.." Christian's voice was low, and Syed looked over his shoulder, concerned at his change in mood. He saw him silhouetted in the doorway, leaning nonchalantly against the frame, a cowboy hat tipped low over his eyes.

Dropping the tumbler he was holding into the water with a loud splash, Syed felt the blood heat in his veins.

"And do you think I would ever let you get away? Looking like that? Where did you get it?"

"It's Roxy's. I was hoping you might change your mind about fancy dress.."

"She's never getting it back.."

"I've always been a pushover for you, Sy. Putty in your hands.."

Syed came over to him and slowly unzipped the fly of his jeans, slipping his still soapy hand inside.

"Putty, eh? That's the hardest putty I've ever felt…"

Tipping the brim of the hat lower, Christian moaned and pushed against the pressure, murmuring;

"I'm taking you to bed…"

* * *

**_Thank you so much you lovely, lovely reviewers and readers :) I hope you liked it, it was meant to be much shorter! :0 :D_**

**_Last long one for a little bit. Thank you again. Yay! Real Chryed are back! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_**


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